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Keeping it Together | WISDOM AND TIPS FOR MENTAL HEALTH AND WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT US | Tuesday, June 29 | | |
 | | | Should we sleep or have fun? | | A bad habit I've noticed in my own life lately is the subject of one of our recent stories. And I know I should do better. By Kelly Lawler | | |
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| Ever read an article and realize it's talking about you? That happened to me this morning while I was reading my coworker's work. And I feel called out, even if she's right. |
| My colleague Jenna Ryu published a story today about "revenge bedtime procrastination," the phenomenon in which we swap sleep for leisure time. You know, like when you watch another episode of a streaming show instead of hitting the hay. Or maybe you scroll through Instagram for two hours. Or you play that word game on your phone that you're so close to beating. |
| But, shocker, it's actually not a very good idea. |
| "The paradox is that you're really only hurting yourself," says Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. "Although you might be motivated by taking back control over their time, you're also taking away the valuable resource of sleep." |
| "People with really busy schedules tend to think, 'Well, I really deserve to relax. I deserve to take some time to myself,'" says Amy Morin, a licensed psychotherapist. "So rather than go straight to sleep, they want to go do something they find immediate enjoyment in." |
| Raise your hand if this is you? Yeah, my hand is high in the air. This is something I've done for a long time, but it's also something I've noticed in the past few weeks as my schedule has filled up with social activities and errands. |
| When I didn't go to restaurants or visit friends and stretched weeks between trips to the grocery and hardware stores, I had time to fill. And like so many of you I got into a quarantine routine. I found new hobbies, read more, watched more TV (an impressive feat for a TV critic since I watch a lot of TV during work hours, too) and redefined how I relax and wind down before bed. But if I spend the day out of my house, a wonderful privilege now that I'm fully vaccinated, I come home and automatically turn to my pandemic routine. I'll play some Solitaire on my phone while "Top Chef" plays in the background. But I don't have time for it. |
| While we all need leisure time, skipping out on sleep isn't the way to do it. |
| "You might think that by watching late-night TV shows, you'll feel really good, but often times people then feel guilty the next day for wasting that time, for not getting enough sleep. And then they're cranky, tired, feeling overwhelmed," Morin says. |
| Jenna rounded up some great advice for prioritizing sleep in your life, and I will certainly try to employ some of these strategies, starting tonight. |
| How are all of you doing with sleep? Has the pandemic changed how you see leisure time? Are you in need of a reset? Send your answers to our email here and we may publish them in a future newsletter. |
Today's relationship insight: Why we stay in them too long |
| We all know someone who has stayed in a relationship too long. |
| This week our wellness columnist Sara Kuburic, a therapist who specializes in identity, relationships and moral trauma, has penned a thoughtful column on why this happens. And what you can do about it. |
| It is incredibly difficult to be stuck in a relationship that is not right – but making the decision to leave can be even more challenging. |
| Many of us feel frustrated for having stayed "too long" once we are out of a relationship, but in those moments of judgment, we can lose sight of how difficult it is to end a relationship. |
| If you or anyone you know is struggling with leaving a relationship it's important to be gentle and patient. This is not an easy decision. |
| Quick tips for making this tough decision: |
| • | Pay attention to how the relationship makes you feel (most of the time). | | • | Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself: Do you want to be in this relationship? If there were no repercussions, would you stay? | | • | Build a support system that can offer perspective and a safe space to explore your feelings. | | • | Be loyal to your needs. | |
| You can read the full story here. And Sara's insights will be gracing USA TODAY every week, so get excited. |
 | | A young couple sitting on couch after a fight. | | Ridofranz, Getty Images/iStockphoto | |
Today's reads |
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 | | Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman hosting "Making It." | | Evans Vestal Ward/NBC | |
Today's pet |
| It's two pups for the price of one this Tuesday. |
 | | Stella and Clementine would like your attention, please. | | Courtesy of Dana Gibson | |
| "Meet Stella and Clementine," says owner Dana Gibson. "These sisters, 9-years-old and 6-months, love doing everything together." |
| I'd do everything with you dogs, too. (Don't forget you can scroll through more of our newsletter readers' pet photos here!) |
| That's it for this Tuesday. Thank you so much for reading. A new edition will be in your inbox Saturday. Until then, stay safe and stay well. You can send feedback and more adorable pet pictures to our email here. We love to hear from you. |
| All my very best, |
| Kelly Lawler |
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